2013

I'm just going to start writing what's on my heart and whatever comes out comes out...otherwise I'll be staring at a blank page precious longer than I have time for tonight-->BEAUTY SLEEP.(Actually, JUST SLEEP...because honestly, I don't know anyone who looks more beautiful when they wake up than before they go to bed.)

2012. Goodness, I don't even know where to begin. It's been quite the year for me, for my heart. There's so much in the rearview mirror of this past year. I'm trying to find this perfect balance between reflecting on what was and what will be and I'm beginning to realize that there isn't a perfect balance, there's just now and who I am in this moment. Thinking too much about the past brings back old demons and shadows. Thinking too much about the future robs me of what's right in front of me. Both haunt my 'now'. So, for me, 2013 will be a year of introspective and extrospective, each day an opportunity to dig deep within and examine who I am 'now' and to focus on who and what surround me- an opportunity to slow down to a pace of healing and thankfulness.

It is undeniable that the start of a new year brings hope and new beginnings, but ultimately and without fail, this opportunity is offered to us each day and in each new sunrise. Lamentations 3:22 tells us, 'The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning...'. God is not done with me yet and to that I will hold fast this year through each joy and each struggle. Not only is God not done with me yet, but He is not done with those around me either. At the start of this new year I am reminded of the ugly-beautiful in me, in all of us, and how if I'm not willing to pour into those around me who are flawed, I don't deserve for my Creator to do the same with me, to pour into this empty vessel with each breath I breathe like He does so without fail.

My particularly long list of resolutions this year can be summed up as such:

-To be healed.
-To have hope.
Every day.

I realize that for me to flourish as a young woman this year, I have to allow the healing to come when it needs to come and to cling to the hope even if I'm only clinging to the thread's end. Looking within myself may be hard, casting aside long shadows and distractions may be challenging, but it has to be done every day for me to truly live right 'now'. Until I truly find that 'now' I will never be able to shake the demons from my past and the worries in my future.

So, here's to 2013... living each day heart abandoned...finding and loving the 'now' no matter how hard it may get... and to looking on the inside and the out.

Happy New Year!!!